I'm not ungrateful, really I'm not. I know that this little (annoying) problem of mine is very first world and I know that my mum still loves me very much even though she only buys me crap I hate. I just think her money could be better spent. The problem is she buys everything on special. My mother will not purchase anything that is less than 50% off. I've tried to explain to her that it is 50% off because no one else in the whole world wants to buy it. She will not listen.
Below are some examples of presents I have got in recent years:
1. Teeny, tiny pie dishes - loads of them.
a) I do not bake.
b) No one could bake pies that tiny.
Me: What are these for?
Mum: Aren't they cute?
2. The rock with my daughter's face on it.
a) The rock is a big ugly rock with a piece of canvas stuck on it that is a picture of my daughter's face.
b) The rock is a door stop (in case you were wondering).
c) I can't throw it away now because it has my daughter's face on it.
Me: How did you make this?
Mum: I went to a class - isn't it great?
3. The Celine Dion/Anne Geddes compilation
a) You flick through the pictures of the babies in pumpkins.
b) You listen to the Celine Dion CD as you do so.
c) No, it does not come with a knife to slit your wrists.
Mum: "But you love Celine Dion and Anne Geddes!"
Me: "When I was 10….yes…."
4. A bong.
a) I don't smoke pot.
Mum: It's an incense holder.
Me: That's what they tell everybody.
5. A round plastic hand held brush.
Me: Aren't these brushes for men?
Mum: They're for anyone who brushes their hair.