The first few days were not so bad. To be honest it was quite nice to have an excuse not to exercise! Though, by day two I was filled with a touch of anxiety. I'm not sure that was a direct result of not exercising for a day or because I have become afraid of losing my exercise routine - once you lose it, it is so very hard to get it back! Today though, I am feeling antsy. I want to get out! I feel congested. My body feels gluggy and heavy. I have a bit of a headache too, which is probably from spending an extra three hours sitting around over the last three days, when I would have normally been moving and grooving. I am also feeling a bit slower mentally so finding it harder to write and function in general.
I am so sleepy! I feel like I just can't wake up! I'm not usually the best morning person but this is ridiculous! At 1pm today I was still half asleep! It is awful. I just want to sit around and for some reason every time I walk past my room I just want to hop into bed for a little nap. Am I getting sick? I hope not.
I want to eat all the time! I'm not hungry. Not really. I just feel like nibbling on something. I don't usually feel that snacky during the day, but for some reason I really feel like eating chips or something salty. I'm not really a chippie kind of person so it's a bit weird for me.
Argh! I am in such a bad mood! I just want to be left alone but I have children to look after and they keep making me move and do things and fix them snacks and OH MY GOD I just don't want to do ANYTHING. I want to lie in bed all day. I am finding it so hard to get up in the morning. Every morning when the alarm goes off I just want to die. My favourite thing to do is nothing. Maybe I AM getting sick? And why oh why do people need dinner every single night? Making food just seems like far too much work. Can't we just order take-out?
I am STARVING. I seriously think I am dying of hunger. It is so weird because I have been doing nothing at all so it's not like I should actually need the extra calories. The less I do the more food I want to eat. Oddly enough I am craving things that I never eat, things that really do not agree with me at all, like white bread, pasta, potato chips and coke! I had a few pieces of white bread toast and damn they were good, so I had two more. Then my tummy started gurgling and I remembered why I don't eat white bread. I was hungry about 20 minutes later! Normally when I have one piece of Vogels wholegrain toast with avocado I am full for hours, but seeing as I was hungry again I had to eat more. So I ate an apple and it did nothing. It is so strange how exercise regulates your hunger. When I work out I actually eat less than when I don't. I just goes to show how easy it becomes to gain weight when you don't exercise. It's not just that you're not burning energy, but your whole body becomes out of balance.
I am all dried out. I suddenly realised that I have been missing out on quite a lot of water since I started my exercise sabbatical. Normally I'd drink water before a work out, then during and after. I'd then normally have a green tea with breakfast. Lately I've been skipping the morning water and going straight for a cup of tea (or coffee - which I normally don't drink at all!) because I am so tired and struggling to wake up. So not surprisingly I feel dehydrated and gross, like I've slept with the electric blanket on or something. My tongue also feels hot. Every time I eat something sugary - which I have been doing a lot more lately - my tongue starts to feel hot and tingly. I don't know why.
I am an evil harpy. The kids don't like me any more because apparently my "face looks grumpy". Lover-Man and his penis don't like me either. Possibly because the only attention I pay to either of them is to growl like an angry dog with a bone any time either of them come close to me. The penis is the most unwelcome guest. I just have no need or desire for him at the moment. None at all. I am dead below the waist. Exercise really does seem to regulate sex drive, without it, my groin is Deadsville
I am miserable. I just feel awful and sad and worthless. I want to lie on my bed and cry. And eat. Lets not forget that part! Today I spent most of the day sighing dramatically, nagging at my kids, sighing dramatically, groaning and fantasising about spending an entire day in bed eating pizza and chocolate. The funny thing is that now I don't even want to exercise. God no. I just want to nest on the couch. I want to by a pair of 3XL mens trackies from the warehouse, a tub of ice-cream and spend my time filling' them bad boys up with my expanding booty. Jeez, I could totally chuck my running shoes away is how much I am interesting in exercising. I guess this is how it happens. You just stop caring. You still know that it would make you feel better if you went for a run, but you just don't really care anymore. Then one day you wake up 10 or 20 (or more) kilos heavier!
Insomnia. I can not sleep. All day I waft around exhausted but as soon as I get into bed I am wide awake. Last night I must have spent three hours tossing and turning. I even considered getting up to do some work before I finally dropped off. Now today I am even more exhausted than I was yesterday! I really need some exercise, STAT.
Today I was technically allowed to go and exercise. But not surprisingly I had absolutely no desire to do so. My mind has lost the automatic exercise function that normally switches on when I have a bit of spare time. Now I spend a good wad of time procrastinating, cleaning stuff, trying to convince myself that it is about to rain etc. Usually until I have no spare time left. I have discovered that one of the most valuable things about a regular exercise routine is that it becomes habit. Mentally, forming that habit is invaluable. Once you have accepted that you exercise 6 days a week, that's the way it is. There's no excuses, no dilly-dallying. Just your workout. When you embrace that routine it nurtures you. You start to crave it and depend on it to keep you grounded and sane. When you mess with that, you lose more than your waistline. You lose that strong sense of physical and mental equilibrium that routine exercise provides.
I did finally manage to get out for a walk/run, which is what I tell myself I am going to do when I don't want to exercise. It was hard. I felt very weak and un-fit and it has only been two weeks! I can't believe how quickly I have lost my fitness!
Even though I didn't feel like I could've run a marathon, I still felt better for getting out, stretching my legs and getting some good fresh air. Slowly but surely, we'll get back on that horse.
So what are my findings? DON'T STOP EXERCISING!