I am writing you this letter because I like you. I really like you. In fact I think I am falling in love with you. That probably sounds really weird, but I promise it's not. I know we don't really know each other but I feel like I know you. I feel like we should be best friends (Sorry Mariana).
So naturally you're probably wondering why is it that I feel this way about you. Well for starters, I think you're really funny. You totally crack me up! You do the funniest stuff; I love the way you talk; I love the way you dress; I love the way you go crazy sometimes and do stupid stuff; I love the way you over think things, cus I do that too. And mostly I love how you're not perfect. And I mean that in the best possible way. You're not perfect and you know it but you accept yourself. You've made me realise just how boring perfect people are, and that it's not the perfection in a person that you fall in love with, it's the shining unabashed imperfection. You made me love my own imperfection more and I love you for it.
It's funny though, when I first met you and your friends, I have to say it, you really annoyed me. God! You kept doing such stupid shit all the time and complaining about it and it was so exhausting! But after a while that's what I came to love about you. You make me laugh. You make mistakes but that's ok. I still love you.
On first meet I was most drawn to Jessa (Shoshanna is nice too, super chatty and bubbly but that gets a bit much after a while). Jessa's got that intellectual troubadour thing going on that is really quite attractive at first. It draws people in. That nonchalance, that disdain for life, the earthy beauty and the lack of desire to make eye contact with whomever she is talking to. She seems so lived. So wise. God it's so appealing for some weird ass reason. I guess that's why guys like her. It appears like she doesn't care if they want her or not. But after a while you realise it's all a ruse. She's not that person at all. She actually cares a lot. But she is wounded. She attracts people by pushing them away but that doesn't always work so well, cus sometimes she actually succeeds. Now I find Jessa a bit grimy. Like a dog with mange. You know, you feel sorry for it but it's kind of icky to be around.
People like Jessa, they're personalities are so big and bold and alluring. But after a while people get sick of them. Their characters are too concentrated to be around for too long. You're a different kind of star Hannah. At first you may blend into the background but after the Jessa's have faded away (or burnt out) that's when you shine.
Marnie is another funny fish. When I first met her, I thought she was beautiful. I thought she was so all together. I actually preferred Marnie to you too, if you must know. But I don't know what I was thinking! Originally I thought she was super sweet, then I thought she was a bit of a bitch. But now I realise it's not her fault. She just has a hugely over-inflated opinion of herself. I don't quite know what she needs. Neither does she.
I'm sorry, I'm being really rude about your friends. I guess I'm just a little defensive or protective or something because of how badly Marnie and Jessa treat you. I can't believe Jessa left you at her Dad's place! That is so shitty. At first I was mad at you for forgiving her and just going to get her from rehab but that's actually what I love about you. You are so forgiving. Some people think you are self absorbed. But you're really not. You are so caring and considerate and loyal. You are such a good friend. I really have no idea what Marnie is on about all the time saying that you're a bad friend. She is the bad friend. I think your friendship with her is based on her being "better" than you in her mind. I don't think she wants you to succeed because then that would put your friendship out of kilter. I wonder what would happen if she got really fat. Like bigger than you (not that you're fat at all! I think you are super gorgeous how you are! That is actually why I like you so much. I love that you are so comfortable with your body. You have super sexy curves and really cute boobs and it is so refreshing to see you loving your body and being proud of it) I reckon if Marnie put on weight and was bigger than you it would totally fuck her head up. She'd have no reference point of success if she couldn't tell herself she was better than you. I'm really sorry for being such a bitch about her. I'm sure she's actually really nice when you get to know her like you do. And anywho, maybe she's changing. She did after all let you use her apartment last week to have sex with Adam in her bed. That's very forward thinking of her. I thought she'd be all like "Ew fuck no, Adam's a dick anyway."
Adam is not a dick by the way. He is lovely. I like him. I think he's good for you. Though, he has his issues too. Relationships are hard. I reckon just let him move out during rehearsals. Give him space but keep in contact with him. But don't whatever you do, hook up with that guy from work! I think he's sweet on you though. I mean he did see your nipples through your bra when he cleaned all the vomit of you last week. I reckon that image has been stored in his wank bank. Just saying, he may try and hit on you if you tell him Adam has moved out. Don't go there. Just don't. Adam is nice.
So those are just a few of the reasons why I like you so much. I think you're super. I think we could be friends. I would really like to read your book when it's all finished and published. Please put me down for a signed copy! Oh and FYI, I kind of wrote a book too if your interested.