Humans can't fly. It is one of life's sad truths, in the same camp as 'There are no such thing as fairies' and 'Hogwarts isn't a real school' - both of which I am still not truly convinced of!
Life is disappointing. I remember when I first really tried to fly. I was eight. I was jumping off of our large high deck onto the trampoline. I was determined to fly. I made wings. Big ones. And I even wore a helmet and knee pads. Alas my wings would not work. I stuck seagull feathers to them. I even tried some pixie dust. But nothing. Just falling. I sighed as I realised that this was it. Legs and walking, forever. There would be no flittering and fluttering on the breeze for me.
Then I realised that I could fly! Well at least I could swing! From that moment on I loved swings. For when I swung, at least for a moment I was flying.
Swings are a waste of time. You don't go anywhere. Admittedly, swings were fun when I was young. But as I got older and gave them another go, I realised that they made me feel sick and weird. My adult stomach and adult head cannot tolerate them.
You go up.......and then you go down.........and then you go up......and then you go down. And then you stop because you realise it is all pointless.
Swings are also scary. For example, you are walking and there is no one there and a swing starts swinging - creeeaaak, creeeaaak. Swings are particularly scary at night because ghost children probably play on them (well, that is what my overactive imagination thinks anyway).
Swings are really annoying if you are a parent because you have to stand behind the child and push them over and over again until after hours they finally get sick of it and you can have a rest.
Do you know what is better than swings? Rollercoasters.