The situation I find myself in when playing Monopoly is that I end up hating all my opponents - even the people I normally love in real life. Monopoly has caused me to hate those nearest and dearest to me. Because of Monopoly, I have hated my brothers, my friends, my cousins, my husband and many more.
I'm not alone in my hatred of Monopoly. My dad hates it too. Every year, we go camping and Monopoly is banned from coming since the 'incident'
The 'incident' was when my husband and I just about got a divorce over one particular game. And I'll tell you why. Because I needed one yellow property and that bastard wouldn't swap me three utilities for it (which meant he would have all four). He was getting the far better deal. How could he not swap them?
"What the f%$k is wrong with you?" I screamed
My daughter looked worryingly at her grandparents
"Why is mummy so mad at daddy?" She asked
"I'll tell you why I'm so mad at Daddy. Because he is so stubborn. He is deliberately not letting me have Marine Gardens just so I can't get anywhere in this game."
"Are you crazy?" He shouted at me "I'm not giving you Marine Gardens so you can pack it with hotels and bankrupt me."
And then came the clincher:
"If you loved me, you would give me Marine Gardens."
He narrowed his eyes at me,
"I am not giving you Marine Gardens. This has nothing to do with love."
"You're right. This is to do with you being an arrogant, selfish bastard who I HATE."
"Don't you think you two are overreacting?" My mum asked from her lounger
"NO!" We shouted simultaneously.
We didn't speak for over 24 hours.
So now Monopoly is never allowed to enter a tent on a family holiday ever again.
Also, who the hell invents a game that never bloody ends? It's like that annoying song that never ends - only worse. "This is the game that never ends. Yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because it is the game that never ends..."
After extensive research, I have found that it is not only my dad and I that hate Monopoly. We are not the only family torn apart by this demon game. You can read some more articles about how much Monopoly sux. My favourite one being 'The things people fight about while playing Monopoly.'
I have also discovered that it is scientifically proven that if you are the rich bastard in the game of Monopoly then you are actually the rich, mean bastard. See below Ted talk.