According to Arvigo Maya Abdominal therapists, vaginal steaming, along with abdominal massage, can assist in many women's health issues. That is because a lot of discomfort to do with menstruation et al, can actually be caused by having a misaligned uterus. I never knew that the uterus could become misaligned, but I guess it makes sense. I mean, the uterus does a lot of work. And personally my uterus FEELS like it does a lot of work!
Sheesh. No one ever told me that after I had kids my uterus would feel so awful. Nor did they tell me that ovulation would start to be like a second PMS week of the month (I guess you could more accurately call it POS - Pre-Ovulation-Syndrome). I get so fricking grumpy during ovulation. What's worse is I now get cramps, headaches and back ache too. Menstruation has always been nasty for me, but these days it is worse. I cry excessively the day (no, week!) before menstruation. My whole lower half feels numb for days. I have such bad period pain it feels like someone is sodomising me with a hot fire poker that is jamming right through into my uterus. And why the hell does my undercarriage feel like someone has been full force kicking it for an hour? And why does it have to feel like that for three days while I bleed like someone has sliced open a major artery? Why the heck are the girls in the Tampon ads so happy? Menstruation is just no fun.
Apparently all of these symptoms and more could be attributed to having a misaligned uterus. And they all could be alleviated by a good vagi-steam and abdominal massage. Abdominal massage isn't too hard to find these days, though the official maya massage is. However, try as I might I could not find anyone willing to steam my vagina! I tried all over Wellington, to no avail. I emailed heaps of places asking if they offered vaginal steaming and no one replied. Why are we so afraid of vaginas?! All of us women have them so why is it so taboo to admit they are sometimes a little annoying and we want them to work better? When I was at the Women's Expo I bumped into some women from the Natural Health Centre. Even they were a little perplexed when I asked if they offered Vaginal Steaming at their centre. What's a girl to do?
Typically there is someone who would steam my fanny in AUCKLAND! Her name is Samar Ocean Wolf Ciprian and she is a yoga teacher, reiki healer, hypno-therapist and also a trained Maya Massage therapist. So if you live in Auckland and think you could benefit from a healing belly rub and also a good muff sauna, you should definitely check out her website. I would.
But wait, don't give up if you do not live in Auckland! You could always try and steam your own muff at home! You could try hovering over a bucket of hot water, (though I take no responsibility for any scolded muffs out there!) Or you could check out these vagi-tools (above) from Earth Dancer Massage Products. How handy! For US$150.00 you could steam your beaver in the comfort of your own home! Here is their description....
"Handcrafted wood stool that can be used for vaginal steams or as a birthing stool. Every wombmyn needs one! Lovely heirloom to pass down to the wombmyn of your family."
Such a shame I only have Sons. Hmmm Perhaps they would still want my old Vagi-stool when I die. Imagine that! I could put it in my Will... "And to you my dear son I leave, my Vagi-stool, and gooch steaming bucket." That's love right there.
In all honesty though, I really do want a vaginal steaming. I also want an abdominal massage. I am still hunting for somewhere in Wellington, so I will keep you posted to whether I find anyone. Until then though I am seriously considering jumping on a plane to go and see Samar!