Last Night I steamed my vagina. It was a beautiful experience that I intend to repeat twice a month for the rest of my life.
Why steam your vagina? You may ask. Well if you need to ask then you may not need to steam your vagina. Not that you wouldn't benefit from a good hot fanny wafting. In my opinion, the world would be a better place if all women steamed their vaginas, and all men soaked their penises.
My uterus was pissed off. For years she had been unhappy. I could tell. Every month twice a month she would reel in pain. She'd swell and bulge and cause me great agony. My only comfort would be the couch, chocolate, pain killers and multiple heated wheat packs applied to my abdomen and undercarriage. And even then the pain would only be slightly subdued.
I'd been to doctors. "Take the pill," they'd say. "Skip the bleeds altogether," they'd mutter. Oh if only it were that simple. But surprisingly fucking with hormones by popping a pill does not always bring a satisfactory result. If I wasn't in tears, I'd be full of hormonal rage, which to be honest I already had a pretty serious problem with.
For years conventional medicine failed me. I got fobbed off. Told to take a panadol and deal with it. But no doctor ever tried to find out why I was in so much pain. None of them stopped and said, we need to look further. They just told me what I didn't have and sent me on my way.
Last year I interviewed Samar Ocean Wolf Ciprian of Moon Yoga. Samar is trained in the art of Arvigo therapy; An ancient Mayan healing treatment that uses abdominal massage and self care processes to restore health to the reproductive organs.
Finally! I thought. I've found a healer who can help me! That was until I read that Samar is Auckland based. Which is great if you live in Auckland or can afford a quick trip up to see her, but for me it meant waiting. It meant knowing that their was someone who could help me but that they were too far away. But I knew one day it would happen. I knew one day we'd meet and she'd share her knowledge with me.
That day came in early May this year. I received an email from Samar to say she'd be in Wellington offering treatments for a few days and I immediately fired one back to say: Samar! Please book me in!
Over the course of two hours Samar gave me a total health assessment. She opened my eyes to so many possible factors and contributors to my symptoms: Sugar, gluten, toxins. All of these things are incredibly hard on your body's immune system and can hugely effect hormonal mood swings - especially if like me you are highly sensitive to everything.
The most incredible part of the treatment was when Samar realigned my uterus. Yes. That's right, realigned. I bet you haven't heard that before! Truth is, things like childbirth, running, surgery and falls can push your uterus out of place. This can cause so many problems such as extreme period pain, PMS, fatigue, bowel issues and depression. Most commonly these issues are treated with medications but the medication does nothing to correct the underlying problem: misalignment.
My uterus was scrunched down to the right, which explained a lot of the pain I was having. With the use of massage and a reiki like energy practice, Samar moved my uterus back up to where she was supposed to be. It was an odd but amazing feeling. It wasn't painful but I could definitely feel tension and tenderness when Samar massaged the right side of my abdomen. It felt wrong. It was so obvious that my uterus was not mean to be there. After she was realigned the tension and tenderness had subsided.
After my amazing treatment I hugged Samar goodbye and left with detailed patient notes outlining my recommended nutritional changes, self massage regime and of course and a 'how to' on castor oil packs and steaming my vagina at home. A practice that will continue to lift my uterus back up into place if ever she starts to flop down to the right again. Regular steams also help to cleanse the uterus.
I steamed my vagina with basil, rosemary and oregano plucked fresh from the garden. I boiled up the plants for five minutes in what is now known in my house as my "fanny steaming pot" and then set the pot down, lid on, on a wooden board. I lay a dining room chair down with it's back resting on the ground so I could straddle the two front legs, with my pot of steamy water in beneath my groin. I lifted the lid of the pot and let the first hot gush of steam escape, then I climbed on and wrapped a huge blanket around me to trap in all the steam. Once I was in position I sat in my steam teepee and watched Game of Thrones ignoring regular chuckles from the Lover-Man. "Don't laugh at my fanny steaming! It's an ancient Maya healing technique!"
I feel amazing. I've been off gluten and (most) sugar for just over a week but I swear I already feel so much better. I have more energy and just feel healthier in myself. My sleep is better. Especially after my twice monthly vagina steams. The self care massage takes a little getting used to but my abdomen feels so much better; all the things my body is meant to do, it is doing without drama. I am converted. Vagina steamer for life!
To find out more about Arvigo Therapy and other services Samar offers check out Moon Yoga. And seriously, if you have any period pain or you suspect your uterus could be misaligned, go and see her!