Joke: "How many Hipsters does it take to change a light bulb?.........It's a really obscure number, you probably haven't heard of it"
If there is one thing that ticks me right off it is Hipsters. Wellington has a nasty infestation of Hipsters and has done for quite some time. There really is nothing for it. There is no way to exterminate the Hipster from its habitat. Where there is art, culture and good coffee there will always be Hipsters, and as Wellington is a creative mecca, with more good coffee than most other cities (eeek even I'm turning into a Hipster!) it is only natural to encounter them.
It is not hard to spot a Hipster. The hipster will have a "look". A strategically placed knit cap on a male Hipster in summer is a good clue. The female Hipster is more illusive, they are more noticeable by what they don't do; acknowledge you - because you probably aren't hip enough. Wellington Hipsters are usually spotted around Cuba Mall, drinking "really good fair trade coffee" at Fidels cafe. Or at Slowboat records listening to bands "you probably haven't heard of". You will possibly hear them talking about "organic produce" or feel their judgmental gaze on your "totally mainstream" outfit.
All of this is fine. You know, sure it's nauseating but each to their own if it ain't hurting anyone. What does piss me off though is when the Hipsters work in customer service based Jobs. The girl who works the counter at a vintage clothing store for example. She sees me walk into the store, gives me a quick once over and decides that I am not intimidating or hip enough to say "Hi" to. So she pushes her geek framed glasses back on up her stink nose and goes back to recording her latest Vine and drinking her organic soy chai latte. Why then is she so surprised when I dump my megaload of reject (and overpriced) vintage clothes on the counter for her to re-hang and put back on the shelf? Well missy, a polite and sincere "Hello, hows your day?" might do some good. And what about the male Hipster barrista who thinks he is the shizz because he makes fancy coffee. He's so hip he don't even have to smile or look you in the eye. Well honey, it's not just how you make it but also how you hand it over. Say it with me people: "USE YOUR MANNERS KIDS!"
There is one thing to remember when dealing with Hipsters, there is simply no pleasing a Hipster. NOTHING you do will be hip enough. It doesn't matter who you are, what you do, what your story is, the Hipster doesn't care. They are cooler. Their time is more important. The only way to win over the Hipster is to out Hip the Hipster. Know about bands that are so obscure they "like haven't even recorded an album yet." Have an organic Kale dealer that only deals to you but "maybe you could hook them up too, but probably not, I mean do you even know what Kale is?" But who has time for that? Yeah not me. F=%k that sh#t man. Hipsters are too hip for me. I don't have time to waste on them Douche bags.
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Lisette Prendé and Mariana Collette are BFFs. They met on their first day of high school and have been making each other laugh ever since.