Being a feminist does not mean that you hate men. Coming from a heterosexual feminist mother of two boys I can safely and confidently tell you that I LOVE men. I am surrounded by men. I sometimes go a whole day without talking to a woman! I love boys! They are amazing, wonderful, beautiful, strong creatures! My being a feminist does not mean for a second that I don't love men.
What I don't love, is men who think women don't deserve to be heard; that their opinions are invalid because of their gender. Men who think women belong in the kitchen. Men who think women are nothing but a vagina on legs. Men who think it is okay to degrade or abuse women, either sexually or emotionally, simply because they are women. Those men I don't love.
It is perhaps those men that first created the angry man-hating feminists that have gone on to sour the cause. The hairy-scary mythical feminists of old who scared all the nice pretty girls away from the fight. Those women who fought the fight before us, who allowed us the right to be the strong women we are today. Those women who fought the fight so that we could live in a world where it is not odd to be unmarried at 30. Where it is acceptable to want something more than a husband and children. Those women who took off their little white gloves and shook their fists, so that we wouldn't have to wear little white gloves.
So what came first? The angry man-hating feminists or bigoted misogynists? The chicken or the egg? The thing is, one extremist bad apple doesn't sour the whole bunch. Of the men, pick out the misogynists and throw them away, keep the rest. Of the feminists, pick out the man haters and chuck 'em in the compost. Just because some are bad doesn't mean they all are.
Whatever you do, don't disregard the fight of our fore-sisters. Don't take all their hard work for granted and throw it away. We owe them far more than that and far more than we can ever know.
Mark Ruffalo had a great message for all the girls who are choosing to shun feminism as part of an anti-feminist selfie trend. His response is fantastic. I have a total feminist crush on him right now. . .
You’re insulting every woman who was forcibly restrained in a jail cell with a feeding tube down her throat for your right to vote, less than 100 years ago.
You’re degrading every woman who has accessed a rape crisis centre, which wouldn’t exist without the feminist movement.
You’re undermining every woman who fought to make marital rape a crime (it was legal until 1993).
You’re spitting on the legacy of every woman who fought for women to be allowed to own property (1848). For the abolition of slavery and the rise of the labor union. For the right to divorce. For women to be allowed to have access to birth control (Comstock laws). For middle and upper class women to be allowed to work outside the home (poor women have always worked outside the home). To make domestic violence a crime in the US (It is very much legal in many parts of the world). To make workplace sexual harassment a crime.
In short, you know not what you speak of. You reap the rewards of these women’s sacrifices every day of your life. When you grin with your cutsey sign about how you’re not a feminist, you ignorantly spit on the sacred struggle of the past 200 years. You bite the hand that has fed you freedom, safety, and a voice.
In short, kiss my ass, you ignorant little jerks.”