By Mariana Collette
Cyclists are annoying. There, I have said it. I hate cyclists. There is a point when you are young when you learn to ride a bike and that is just fabulous. Not only can you peddle fast but you are told by everyone that you will never forget this great skill. "You never forget how to ride a bike." Biking is great for getting to the dairy and visiting your friends' houses. Biking is much quicker than walking.
But at some point, for some people - things go horribly wrong. People start buying bikes with too skinny wheels, aerodynamic helmets and, I shudder when I even say the word, lycra. This breed of people that take bike riding too far are called cyclists and I hate them. They are selfish and annoying. They take up the whole road - even on windy, dangerous roads they ride two, three abreast with no respect for the fact that your one tonne car could be coming around the corner soon and you may not know that their silly two wheelers are there.
Another annoying thing about cyclists is that are too fit and healthy. They make us normal people feel guilty. They exercise all day Saturday, sometimes even Sunday. They exercise for longer than the compulsory half hour a day. I once met a cyclist at a party who was so fit and healthy she put red wine in the fridge - she didn't know you don't put red wine in the fridge because she barely touches alcohol - too healthy for that malarchy. She was also partly brain damaged from being knocked off her bike by a poor, unsuspecting car when she was riding on a skinny, winding road.
Despite cycling seeming like it should be an individual pursuit, cyclists seem to come in packs. They are like wolves taking over the road. Apparently, they are just as entitled to be on the road as cars. But, I don't drive next to my friends in their cars chatting out the window and holding up the people behind me.
Cyclists are bad because they make people feel rage and rage is bad therefore cyclists are bad. Fullstop. End of story.
By Lisette Prendergast
The bicycle. What a creation! Though there is some debate about who first constructed the trusty bike, one thing cannot be argued. The bicycle was a truly magnificent invention. Finally people could transport themselves from place to place without need for relying on a horse or shank's pony. Back then people weren't afraid of a little hard exercise to get where they needed to go and the bicycle got them there. Gas free. Without soiling the streets with horse manure.
Nowadays, after the invention and mass production of the car, more people cycle for recreation. Who can blame them? Is there anything more fantastic than feeling the wind on your face as you pedal through the country side on your bicycle? Filling your lungs with fresh air as you work the gears, legs burning, sweat glistening on your body. Your body is a machine and the bicycle makes it run. Or perhaps imagine putting on a fantastic dress and cycling your way through the city on a beautiful spring morning stopping at the bakery for baguette and popping them in your carry basket so you can leisurely pedal to the park for a picnic. Ah bliss.
Cyclists. Such stamina. I find it so refreshing to see a group of cyclists on a sunny day paying tribute to one of the worlds best inventions. It is truly motivating to see them out there, on their bikes doing something productive. They're not causing trouble. They are working their bodies, relieving stress, making themselves stronger by cycling for hours. Cycling is considered to be one of the best forms of exercise due to it's lack of impact on the body and it's high level of fat burning efficiency. Regular cardiovascular exercise has been shown to reduce risk of heart attacks, stroke, depression, diabetes the list goes on. So basically cyclists are doing the economy a favour as they are less likely to cost the health care system money due to ill health. They are healthy, considerate, self sustainable members of society.
As well as recreational cyclists there are those who cycle as a way of getting from A to B. They don't have cars. The rely on their own manpower to pedal them to where they need to be. They contend with inconsiderate drivers putting them in danger, when all they are trying to do is get where they need to be while also being considerate of the environment. More people should be like them. Imagine how much cleaner and greener the world would be if we did away with the filthy polluting car. Such clean air to breath. And if there were no cars on the road then the risks for cyclists would reduce. And what if there was no need for fuel any longer? Well that simply could change the world as we know it.
Cyclists are good people. We should all endeavor to be more like them.